Today a woman at my church came up to me insisting an apology. 50 days ago, Easter, she & her daughter came and sat down at a table with me and my friend Stephen. So we were talking about different things. One conversation came up about young teen girls having babies. Stephen’s brother’s girlfriend has a child. I was at first surprised because she is so young. Stephen and I both said that we wouldn’t do that. As in have children at such a young age and most definitely before we are married. Just saying, you know, we would both rather wait to have children. Not that we thought that is how all people should be. We agreed that everyone has their own opinions and are free to do what they decide. It is possible that we may have also talked about abortion…I don’t remember everything said because well that was 50 days ago. So I believe that people have their own choice about abortions. There are different reasons why a woman might or might not have one. Everyone can agree this is a touchy subject. Anyways, I am sure that Stephen or myself would have said that anyone should have an abortion, but most likely that it’s up to the woman to decided considering her circumstances.
So this woman came to me right. She starts reminding me how she came on Easter and sat with me and another young man. She had already spoken to the young man and now she wanted to talk to me. She also reminded me of our conversation about the above. Then she proceeded to say that she herself had been raped and had her daughter out of wedlock, which after they left her and her daughter went to their car and cried. Are Stephen and I wrong for what we said? I think not. We spoke our opinion on something. Do we look at her and say “Ewww you were raped and had two twins before you were married, you can’t come to this church.” No! We would accept her just the same as anyone person. We honestly don’t judge people on whether or not they waited to have children after marriage, or if they were raped….it doesn’t matter. Just to let you know, in our church we have people who have had children outside of marriage. We treat them just the same. She obviously does not know that or taken the time to spend in our church to find it out.
Another thing she mentioned to me was how Stephen and I go to fancy, expensive universities. She said that we hurt her and her daughter by this, that we can afford to go to expensive schools. She cannot afford to put her daughter through school and that she doesn’t have the credit to put out loans for it. She needs to get it straight! Yes, Stephen and I are in school. He goes to Florida Gulf Coast University; I myself go to Florida Southern College. Stephen’s school is maybe about 20,000 a year but I am not sure. My school costs me about 31,000 a year. So yes, we do pay for our schools. Does that mean we can afford it? No. We both ourselves have taken out loans. I pay cash as well & do work study to pay for college. We both do have some scholarships to help us as well. My mother has not helped me pay a single penny. She can’t, I completely understand that, so I have never asked for help nor will I ever. My father, well he is not even in the picture. Our parents can not pay for our schooling either, so she doesn’t need to act like Stephen and I have perfect lives because we are able to go to school. We most definitely do not.
At this point I was so mad. I just wanted to explode on her.
Last, she said to me that the Bible says that if you have a problem with someone that you are not to tell everyone else about the problem but to go to them. Which, is what she was doing and that she wanted an apology for the things we had said. Before I had time to say a word she turned around and walked away before I could say anything further. So, I said as she was almost out of the kitchen, “Sorry that we offended you.” She was out the door within seconds and gone.
So immediately Stephen, my youth pastor, and some more of the youth all wanted to know what she had said….so I went off. I just kept going. I was so furious…I was turning so red.
Let me just say, that no one person is perfect. The only person to ever walk this Earth that was perfect was Jesus. My life isn’t great, nor has it ever been the worst. I understand that people may have it worse than me, or than my life has been in the past whether or not I know it. I try my best not to judge people because I don’t know their lives…I would appreciate it if others don’t expect that I am rich & lucky to be going to an expensive school. I am neither or those. I worked to get where I am, and it is a blessing for me to say that I attend Florida Southern College. I don’t take it for granted. I thank God that he has allowed me to go there.
Now, the woman who came to me and said these things, well I don’t know much about her, but what I have seen of her I honestly don’t like. She obviously has some personal issues, probably psychological. As she told me today, she was raped. She also said that because she had these children she was disowned by her family. Those are all probably why she has these issues.
She has had a fit in the middle of a Sunday school class about how no one in this church has accepted her. Now, I can not say that everyone has treated her with complete open arms. It saddens me to say this, but it is true that not all the people in my church are as Methodist claim to be. Not everyone fits into the Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors philosophy. But I would say that most people were kind to her and treated her well. This “fit” happened a few weeks before Easter. She had not returned until Easter Sunday when we had those conversations. To be honest, I feel like she came to the church just to find something wrong with it. And maybe she thinks what Stephen and I said was “unchristian” but really they were our opinions; respect them because we respect yours. I also don’t want anyone coming to my church trying to find something wrong, why would you do that? No place is perfect. No one is perfect. That is why we have the church. It is where we meet. All different people with all different problems together. Together to learn, to hold each other accountable, to have fun, to find help, and to become a better person. Don’t ever enter church doors expecting to find perfection, because it won’t happen. What you will find, is God.
I wrote about this because it bothered me so much. I did nothing wrong to her, if you can find something I did wrong, please tell me.
Don’t judge me & I won’t judge you.
Respect me & I will respect you.
Don’t ever judge or disrespect my church.
Though it is not perfect, it is my home and the people there are my family.
NEVER come into my house and disrespect me or my family.
And that is all I got to say about that.
